Loving God in the Midst of Unanswered Prayer
(Correction: there was an error in the monthly email: the following blog was written by Maria Collett, not Carol McIIroy, as indicated in the email.)
Prayer is a fundamental practice for many of us. Throughout our Christian walk, we are reminded of verses such as, “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.” -2 Cor. 1:20 or 1 John 5: 14-15, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him”.
We are often comforted by verses like this and in bringing our requests and needs before Him, we have confident assurance that He hears and that He will answer. We know that He heals, we know that He died for all so wouldn’t it just make sense that if this is his will and desire, that when we pray for our sincere needs and stand on the word, it will be done?
What happens when the healing doesn’t come? What happens when our loved one doesn’t accept Christ? What happens when our prayers that have been prayed in faith don’t come to pass, what then? How do we maneuver through the complicated emotions in a way that draws us closer to Christ rather than pushes us further and further away?
To share a bit of personal history. When I was growing up, my mother was sick a lot. She was in and out of the hospital and at times I wasn’t sure that she would make it. Fast forward to the present, my child got very sick about 4 years ago and it has been very painful to watch him struggle with health issues that need a literal miracle. I have been believing and praying for miraculous healing for my whole life and have never seen it.
When this happens, I believe that a crisis of faith can occur. Questions may arise in our hearts such as, “Why is God withholding from me? Does He even care?”. Sometimes we harden our hearts or walk in anger or bitterness due to unanswered prayer. Sometimes we quit believing that God actually listens to us. Sometimes, we walk away entirely from the faith.
How do we keep our hearts soft while contending for a specific person or need for potentially years? I can only share what I have done. First, I think it’s important to recognize that God is big enough to handle our wrestling and crisis of belief. He knows that we are experiencing pain due to delay. He knows our doubts and fears so we might as well be honest with him and ourselves. I think that it’s imperative to share those feelings with the Father. Often, I have found that as I poured out my heart to Him, He not only releases the strength to carry on but shows me what is going on in my own heart which helps me to grow closer to Him. To me, sharing my struggles, even if they are about God is the playing out of Matt. 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” or 1 Peter 5:7, “cast your cares on Him for he cares for you.”
The alternative is to either ignore the feelings that I have or to become angry and distant towards God. To be honest, I have done this in the past. It’s like locking oneself in a personal prison of pain. There is no comfort to be had there, no growth, no hope, just pain.
So how do we keep our hearts soft while contending for a specific person or need for potentially years? I can only share what I have done. First, I think it’s important to recognized that God is big enough to handle our wrestling and crisis of belief. He knows that we are experiencing pain due to delay. He knows our doubts and fears so we might as well be honest with him. It’s imperative to share those feelings with God. Often, I have found that as I poured out my heart to him, he not only releases the strength to carry on but shows me what is going on in my own heart which helps me to grow closer to him.
Sharing my struggles, even if they are about God is the manifestation of Matt. 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” or 1 Peter 5:7, “cast your cares on Him for he cares for you.”
The alternative is to either ignore the feelings that I have or to become angry and distant towards God. To be honest, I have done this in the past. It’s like locking oneself in a personal prison of pain. There is no comfort to be had there, no growth, no hope, just pain.
I have made the choice to stand on the word regardless of what I have experienced and so I continue to pray. Whether I see the answers tangibly or not, I choose to trust that God is working. I choose to let God be God and to believe that He will work all things together for good for those who believe (Romans 8:28). I don’t find this easy; in fact I find it very painful. It reminds me of when Mary took the alabaster box and broke it over Jesus as she anointed Him and washed His feet with her tears. Choosing to press in to God and to continue to pray in the midst of unanswered prayer is a type of offering. I find that I often weep as I contend in prayer for the miracle that my son desperately needs. It’s painful to continue to believe, it’s painful to even say the words at times. But in the midst of that pain and coming to the Father, there is a breaking of my heart that brings greater surrender, trust, and love for Him. I don’t understand it, but in the midst of my bringing my requests to God over and over, He strengthens and changes my heart. I exchange my pain for a portion of peace and grace.
(Photo by Amaury Gutierrez on Unsplash)