Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit
A few years back around New Years, I was reflecting on my life and how I was doing. I was trying to figure out what my measure of success should be. As I pondered and prayed, I felt that God led me to look at the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22. As a “seasoned” Christian and leader who had been following God for years you would think that I would literally be dripping in the gloriously large and juicy fruit of the Spirit but as I really got honest with myself, I had to admit that the fruit in my life was more like shrivelled raisins!!
Let’s look at Galatians 5:22. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Albeit tiny, I had a measure of fruit but as I stared at those attributes, I recognized that I had so much room for growth. It was actually rather sobering. I had accomplished many of my life’s “God” goals, gone on mission trips, sung on albums, lead worship at conferences, spoke at conferences, sat on boards and yet my heart wasn’t full of the character of God. I was a good poser, I acted like I had it together but when honest, I wouldn’t say that I was strong in any of the Galatians 5:22 attributes. I was nice on the outside, half decent on the inside, seemingly rather accomplished and yet after years of service to God…where was the fruit?
First, spiritual fruit is not synonymous with accomplishments. I could attain the highest heights of ministry and still not see the fruit of the Spirit in my life. Second, spiritual fruit is not synonymous with the power of the Spirit. I saw God move in ministry often. The power of the Spirit is amazing but it does not necessarily mean that my heart is full with the fruit of the Spirit.
I was being brutally honest with myself. I was at a stage in life where I didn’t want to waste any more time with “pretending”. I wanted to allow God in, I wanted him to truly transform me so I really took stock of my life. I was reasonably loving, kind, faithful, etc. but I felt like God was encouraging me with, “there is so much more to be had in Me!”. In my reflection I recognized how often I struggled with hopelessness, worry, anger, bitterness and so on. The Father began to show me the lack of trust, the need for approval and the striving that I walked in. I never felt condemned because when he shows us these things it’s to bring freedom. The Father accepted me into the Kingdom in all of my filthy rags so I knew he was actually pleased with me now that I was getting down to the brass tacks. So I finally let the facades come down and went, “ya, I struggle with all of this”.
In taking honest stock of my heart and in seeing all of the flaws, I came to another conclusion. For all my striving and good intentions, I couldn’t make the fruit grow. The only way that I could truly see the fruit of the Spirit manifest in my life the way that I hoped was to fully give the reins to God. I thought that I had but I felt that the Father was encouraging me to let it go and walk in the principle of Matthew 18:3-4. I’m going to quote it from the Passion Translation, “Learn this well: Unless you dramatically change your way of thinking and become teachable and learn about heaven’s kingdom realm with the wide-eyed wonder of a child, you will never be able to enter in. Whoever continually humbles himself to become like this gentle child is the greatest one in heaven’s kingdom realm.”
I felt that God was encouraging me to come into the Kingdom as a dependant, to lay down my preconceived ideas and accept the Father’s full generosity as His child first and foremost, to find my identity in being a child rather than in my accomplishments, and to allow the Father to truly Father me! I gave Him full access to all my striving, good intentions, wrong conceptions, selfish ambition, pretences and posturing. I accepted the grace of the loving Father to wash over every ugly aspect of my heart. I can’t even begin to express the freedom that comes in not trying to pretend to be good but instead, to just be honest with God. It was in this place that I felt the Holy Spirit begin to cultivate my heart and grow in me.
I would like to say that the cultivation process is easy but in truth, it’s very hard. Giving the reins over means that He begins to bring the ugly things to the surface. It may be difficult but it’s the best thing ever! I was faced with my sin daily. It’s amazing how often things like anger or worry came up for me. I reminded myself of a kid eating a big cupcake and getting icing all over my hands and face. As a kid, I couldn’t do anything but say, “Dad, I’m a mess, can you clean me up?”. I just kept going, “Here’s my mess Father, please clean me up.”
Now the big question is how am I doing? Is the fruit of the Spirit in my life full, plump, juicy and ripe? Well, it’s not quite there yet but it’s not shrivelled raisins any more! I am seeing a level of trust and peace that I’ve never experienced. I’m growing in revelation of the unconditional love of the Father and that is helping me in expressing that type of love to others. I have so much further to go. In fact, now that I’m on the journey, I think that it’s an on-going and eternal process! That said, I know that I’m not satisfied with a human measure of love, joy, peace and so on. I want the supernatural measure that can only come through having the Holy Spirit cultivating and working on my heart and life. The more that He cultivates and tends to my heart, the more I want Him doing it!! The thing is, when we just lay it all down and allow the Holy Spirit to begin to deal with all the stuff, His LIFE is manifested in us and we grow in relationship and intimacy with Him.
If you want more of the Fruit of the Spirit in your own life, I would suggest that you invite the Holy Spirit to help you get really honest with how you are doing. Read over the Galatians 5:22 passage, and ask the Father to show you where you are at. Don’t be discouraged if you find yourself seriously lacking! That is the first step in allowing God in! He doesn’t show us this stuff in contempt, He shows us this stuff to bring us liberty! I then suggest that you ask Holy Spirit to begin to cultivate your heart, allow Him full and free rein. Lay down everything and run to the Father as a child first…He is so excited about fathering you! He desires to lavish His love upon you, to teach you in the ways of His household…He WANTS to impart His character into your heart!
-Maria Collett, HoPE Associate Director